Ninas story | Moments That Count

Nina’s story is one of strength and perseverance, where she demonstrates every day that she is still full of life. That last point is crucial, and she wants everybody to know it, because despite her triple-negative, metastatic cancer diagnosis, she is willing, while she is still able, to live life to the fullest.

Nina, who was initially given just months to live, is undergoing a series of clinical trials, and yet her thoughts lie with her daughter. She lives every day trying to be a positive role model for her because Nina knows that her daughter is a reflection of how she carries herself and how she sees life.

Together they are creating a diary of memories of their good times, because Nina wants her daughter to continue on in life much like herself – strong, persevering and unwavering in the face of adversity. This is the message Nina wants to share.

A former menswear designer with discerning taste, Nina loves fashion, beauty, travel and fitness. In fact, at the time of recording her interview, Nina had signed up for another (that’s right, another!) 5-mile trek across the desert in Jordan to raise money for Black Women Rising – only this time she will be participating while on active treatment. A true demonstration of her body’s power.

Boasting an impressive following on Instagram, her love for life simply beams out of her long and eloquent captions. Nina created her Instagram page to “become a positive story for someone else” when she was unable to find any of her own.

"I want us to enjoy life now, whilst I feel good."

Nina spoke to Marie Claire in a raw and unfiltered interview, sharing her own personal experiences, granting Moments That Count an emotional and fascinating insight into life with a metastatic breast cancer diagnosis.

When asked what drove her to go back to the doctor after achieving remission, she said,

“So what made me go back was pain that I was experiencing. I had been feeling really tired and I had a lot of back pain that wouldn’t go away and then it progressed to my neck. So that prompted me to go to the doctor multiple times to find out what was going on.”

Nina was asked to describe how receiving her second diagnosis compared to the first time in terms of her emotional state and perception.

“Yes, I mean the first time and the second time were completely different. When you first get diagnosed with cancer, the treatment is with curative intent, and I feel like there’s a sense of urgency to treat you because they know that it’s curable and they’re trying to keep you alive. So everything moves really fast. The second time, when I was diagnosed, it felt very different. The first thing you get told is that it’s terminal. There is no cure, and that the treatment is there purely just to give you better quality of life and hopefully extend your life for as long as possible. So mentally, that was very challenging to deal with when I was diagnosed.”

She went on to discuss times when she felt her most vulnerable.

“I would say there’s a few. But, definitely the most vulnerable, or the hardest one would be, when I had to tell my daughter. Because it was the second time that I had to tell her that I had cancer. But it was very different, because the first time I told her with a lot of hope that, you know, mummy’s going to be okay. You know, I’ll have treatment, and then I’ll be alright. But the second time around I knew that it was terminal. So that was really difficult to try and tell a child that, you know, Mummy is going to die. And you know, we’re going to try as much treatment as possible, but we don’t know how long Mummy has to live, so I think to this day that’s probably been one of the hardest conversations I’ve had to have.”

Nina was asked about her journey. About how her cancer treatment or the disease itself affected the way she sees her own body. Had it affected her confidence? Her femininity? Her intimate life?

“It has affected my confidence. I think it affected my confidence a lot more at the beginning and then when I completed my treatment, I had to almost fall in love with myself again. I’d lost all my hair, all my eyebrows. And those are the things that add to our beauty. So when you lose it, it’s almost like you have to work on the inside out, so I did a lot of work there and it definitely took me a while, but I built my confidence back up. My body had changed. Now the second time around, I feel like with medically induced menopause, it’s interesting because you put on weight, and lose weight, your body changes, sometimes my skin doesn’t look how it used to. My hair is changing again and I’m having to learn how to not let those things stop me from living. So instead of allowing that to make me doubt myself, I actually embrace it. Which is not easy, but I constantly remind myself that I’m alive, so I have to get on with it.”

“But I also have a teenager at home, so it’s important to me that she has all the confidence in her body and in herself. So I’m always very conscious about how I speak about myself because I want her to be a good reflection of myself.”

Nina went on to say that she loves to dance. If she’s not feeling great, she’ll turn the music up loud and dance to feel more in touch with, and reclaim the appreciation that she has, for her body. That appreciation is something that only really came about after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Her relationship with her body had been rocky since her teenage years, but after seeing how powerful her body is and what it is capable of - fighting the cancer, responding to treatment, trekking miles across the desert - her appreciation for her body is in full bloom.

She promised to never hate her body after treatment. To embrace it. And the more her body fights the disease, the more in love with it she falls

If you want to learn more about Nina’s story, watch the video on Marie Claire’s website here.

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